Time Boils the Rain
by WhisperOfAngel
Summary: <html><head></head>/Not a song fic/ Starscream should have known to always protect himself, to never believe in others and to never fall in love with Soundwave.</html>
1. Chapter 1

_Part I - Tears are evaporated by flowing time_

**"As the time ****flows****, your wounds will turn ****into**** scars and your pain will be your tears."**

Skywarp was searching for Starscream, looking in every part of their base. He had already searched in Starscream's lab, in Megatron's throne room and in the medbay. The seeker was nowhere to be found.

Skywarp vented furstrated. He had to find Starscream. For a few moments, he thought about pinning Soundwave down to give him Starscream's location, but in the latest weeks, Soundwave was colder than usually. He vented again, exasperated by the lack of help.

Next to him, a red and white seeker walked, and Skywarp stopped in the middle of the room. He turned to the seeker, smiling as he recognized the Seeker.

''Screamer~'' He sang, his voice full of honey. ''What are you doing?'' Skywarp asked with the innocence of a child.

Starscream stopped, looking at Skywarp. He blinked, looking at his trinemate. At first, he wanted to snap something, but Starscream knew better than that. He ignored Skywarp's voice and continued to walk away.

''Screamer!'' Skywarp yelled, running after his trine leader. Starscream continued to walk, his wings set high on his back. Starscream thought that if he ignored the dark coloured seeker, he could find peace and could continue his research. But his luck wasn't with him today.

''What?'' Starscream growled. He didn't bother to hide the annoyance in his tone. He didn't even bother to ask Skywarp in a more polite mode. He just wanted to stop talking with Skywarp and continue his research.

''I want to talk with you~'' Skywarp laughed, saying with a sing-song voice.

''Well, I don't. You can go now.'' Starscream simply said, going back to his datapad. Skywarp blinked, looking in a naive way at his trineleader. The dark coloured seeker looked at his Winglord, his lips trembling as fear began to build in his optics. Starscream hadn't said anything like that to him until then.

Next to him, Thundercraker was simply looking at Starscream's back. At some point, he saw his trinemates and he thought that they were talking. He wanted to salute them, so he just went to them. He thought that Skywarp was telling his trineleader about a bondedtrine, but to his surprise, his trine leader just told Skywarp to get lost in what could be described as a polite manner.

''What did you say?'' Thundercraker just asked, but Skywarp didn't say anything. Both of them knew that something strange was happening with them and with their trineleader. They wanted to ask Starscream, but every time he just told them to go somewhere else. It was like the red and white seeker wanted to separate from them. Starscream was fading slowly from them, but they didn't know why.

On the next part, as Starscream walked away from the two seeker, he was shaking from head to pedes. His lips were trembling, his wings were high on his back and they were trembling too. Starscream felt tears in his eyes, but he couldn't let them flow. He still did have some pride and that pride didn't let him cry on a corridor, where every decepticon could see him...

The bond was still closed and he was sure that his trinemates stayed there. Maybe he was a little too cruel with them, but every time he looked at them, he felt that night. He could still hear his own cries, his screams and his vocalizer giving up, destroying his voice forever, cursing him with his actual voice.

Shaking his head, he ignored that strange sensation that his spark made. In his spark, he felt like his trinemates were going insane, changing in something unforgettable, while he was staying sane. They were slowly going to untrine in this rhytmn, and that had been happening since that night. Maybe some things aren't forever. His trine was one of them.

Starscream's hands were shaking as well as his body, the datapad vibrating fast. For a few seconds, he thought about going to his quarters to stop himself, to continue working on his project, but they would be there, trying to ask him more questions. In his mind, there was a room that was as safe as his: Soundwave's.

_::Soundwave, are you there?::_He asked, looking for a positive answer.

_::Yes. Why? Something happened?::_Soundwave asked, and for a few seconds, Starscream didn't know what to say. He couldn't lie to Soundwave and he could not say everything that happened. He was still paranoid that Megatron could and would listen to them.

_::Yes. Can we talk?::_Starscream said softly, already going to Soundwave's room. He just needed to stop his trembling and to look like he was just walking normally while working on a project. That until he would meet with Soundwave. Yes, he was a good actor. Starscream could do that for a few minutes.

As Starscream walked, he could hear some pedes from behind him. He wanted to snap at the mech, but it probably was some decepticon going to Megatron or searching for another comrade, so he ignored the steps.

''Starscream, what was that?'' A voice asked and Starscream stopped in his walking. He turned slowly, looking at two seekers: Dirge and Ramjet. He blinked in an innocent way, looking at his seekers. His wings were low on his back.

''What was that? What? That?'' He just made a game with words, but he didn't care. He wanted to stop talking with every seeker that wanted to know why the elite trine was fading slowly. That wasn't their job to know and it wasn't their job to help them, especially as there was nothing to repair.

''Skywarp looked for you for hours! He just wanted to talk with you. If you didn't have time, you should have told him to talk with you another day or hour! You can't simply tell him to get lost! Or to Thundercraker to simply find another thing to annoy.'' Ramjet exclaimed, looking too sad for something that happened in another trine.

''Sorry. I didn't know that my trine and I need a peace-maker. If I had known that I needed one, I would have made some selections. Now, spare me. What happened between my trine and I is staying there, where it happen.'' He simply said, looking at his seeker with a pokerface. ''We have already solved the issue between us.'' And the solution is to never talk with them, to never have faith in them and to never believe that they love me, that they could and will protect me. They are lies like everything that was promised at the beginning, Starscream thought in a bittersweet way. Yes, the lies are prettier than the truths.

The first thing that Starscream should have ever known was that the beginning may be sweet like honey and sugar, colourful like rainbows and the end may be gray and sad.

''Why can't you just talk with them?'' Ramjet asked, looking at Starscream suspiciosly

''Because I do not want that!'' He said, walking again. In his spark, Starscream felt like the answer wasn't that. In his mind, the answer was more like he could and wanted to talk with them, but he wanted to protect himself too. You can't do two different things as you can't simply choose to give somebody the trust that you once gave them, to let yourself, again, in their hands.

_::Something happened? You are late::_Soundwave said, his voice full of worry. He was worried. Starscream should have already been in his room.

_::Just two seekers who wanted to find about the situations between my trine and me. I will be there right now.''_Starscream said, looking in his datapad. He it in his subspace and ran. He just ran on the corridors, carefully to go on the empty ones. He just ran until he was right in front of Soundwave's room.

The door opened and Starscream jumped in Soundwave's arms. He let himself weep in his lover's embrace.

Sometimes, trust and love are laughable. You trust somebody and you let yourself in their hands, but when you are falling, sometimes they aren't there and you are all alone. The person that is catching us sometimes is the person that acted like they didn't care. That was the second thing that Starscream should have known. To always protect himself, to never believe in somebody like you believe in your own person. Trust is a fragile thing and once it is gone, you can't replace it, and it's gone forever sometimes.


	2. Chapter 2

_The verse is from: - Please, don't_

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><p><em>Part II - '' Tears eventually drop and I need to wipe them away now''<em>

Sometimes, love happens to people who never expected it. In a strange way, it happened to two people who'd never think about loving each other. That was Soundwave's explanation when the casseticons asked him about loving Starscream. He didn't say much more or less, he simply said that and left the room to let his creations to think about that. Soundwave, like every other cybetronian, deserved love.

To be in love with a seeker with problems like Starscream in a war with a leader like Megatron means to be everytime in alert. You don't know when the said seeker could die or Megatron could find their secret. To keep their secret means to always be able to lie to everyone around you, to always be alert and to never question what the other did. It's hard, but Starscream and Soundwave could and would do that.

As the seeker wept in his lover's arm, Soundwave's questions were directed at his trine. He knew that something happened sometime ago between the air commander and his trine, but Starscream never had the couraje to tell him. And, Soundwave never asked him. He was his lover and he did deserve to know, but for Starscream would mean to open old wounds which once bled. That wasn't an option for Sounwave and it will never be one.

Starscream put his head on his lover's chest, next to the whirling spark. His tears were flowing like a waterfall, wetting his cheeks. His grip was strong as he kept himself next to the warm metal body. His wings were now low on his back as Soundwave's arm were put around his middle, lifting him up. He never let go of Soundwave's neck as the grounder let the seeker on the bed.

''What happened?'' Sounwave asked as Starscream rearranged himself on Soundwave's lap. He was afraid for Starscream's life since Shockwave began to be more and more suspicious about them and since Megatron was curently watching the seeker. He didn't know why they would be such paranoic mechs, but surely that he didn't care. From his point, they could kill themselves because Soundwave still didn't care and won't care anymore.

''I don't know. Skywarp was talking with me and my spark and body was screaming at me to go, to run and to hide myself from them!'' Starscream cried, hiding his head in his lover's neck. ''I simply felt like they could and would kill me and I'm afraid. Even if the trine bond it's closed, I still could feel the emotions coming from them. They aren't like they were once!'' Starscream explained as his tremor calmed. Soundwave tightened his arms around Starscream.

''Why?'' Soundwave asked. The seeker was clearly in pain and Soundwave felt the need to know why and to protect him. He was possessive, but Starscream didn't mind because Soundwave was protecting him more than everyone and Starscream needed that.

''Because everytime when I look at them, I remember that a piece of me is broken.'' Starscream said simply. That discussion, again. Soundwave already knew that a little part of Starscream was broken. The seeker was afraid of Megatron, of every decepticon and of Shockwave like they were Unicron themselves. At first, they said that Starscream was a lost cause, but then a beam of hope, life and light began to appear in Starscream's eyes and Soundwave knew that as long as they are together, they'll be somebots who can't be broken. Starscream was like that. He helped the seeker to regain his peace. After that, their love began to glow like a star.

''They tried to break you, but you were so strong that everything they could was to crack a piece of your heart. You are a fighter, love.'' Soundwave explained as he cupped Starscream's face. He looked right in his lover's eyes. They were burning with love and desire, with life and intelligence. That was one of the first things that Soundwave loved at Starscream. To see Starscream's optics shining with love and life like some vulcano, like a force of nature unlike the first time he looked at them. They kissed, trying to send love to the other as their bodies were next to the other. Soundwave's hands were already on Starscream's wings, trying to make the trembling to go away.. That was a part of their relationship; they didn't need to say 'I love you' to explain the love between them. The kiss calmed the seeker as always.

There are times when Starscream is recharging with Soundwave in their afterglow. The seeker sometimes wakes up screaming and crying, trashing as he could still feel the torture inflicted by Megatron. These are the times when Soundwave would kiss Starscream, would put thousands and thousands of kisses on the seeker's body and would make love with him. That was the first thing that Starscream ever taught Soundwave. A simple touch could calm the wild hearts/sparks and a simple word could make somebody's day.

As the kiss broke, Soundwave smiled at the seeker. He still felt his spark jumping as the seeker laughed. Starscream's laugh was squeaky, but Soundwave never minded that. He just loved that laugh as his spark loved the owner. In love, some things can't be explained.

''Now, tell me. What happened between you and your trinemates? I mean, I'm not pressing you to tell me that. You can choose to never tell me and I won't be mad on you, but I'm curious. You are always crying after you talk with them and I just want to know. No pressure though, remember that. You choose this relationships' evolution. Only baby steps, right?'' Soundwave asked as his fingers were making soothe movements on Starscream's wings. He didn't press the seeker. Only baby steps, Soundwave remembered, only baby steps.

''You don't remember my voice, right?'' Starscream asked as his arms left Soundwave's neck. He put them around his throat. Soundwave could not remember his voice. That was long time ago that even Starscream didn't remember his voice. Soundwave didn't nod and Starscream smiled a bittersweet smile. Yes, nobody could ever remember his voice. Not even him...

''No.'' Soundwave said. Ravage and Rumble heards some rumours about Starscream's voice, but nobody was able to told them what happened. Soundwave did have the premonition that Starscream's trine, Shockwave and Megatron did try to break the seeker and maybe they will try again.

''Doesn't matter.'' Starscream mumbled as he kissed Soundwave. ''Could I recharge here?'' He asked and Soundwave nodded. His room was Starscream's room too. As the seeker let himself to sleep, Soundwave was curious about something. Why Starscream wings did have some scars who felt like strips were welded on them.

There are times when the lovers will be enemies, when the good will turn into bad and when hope will be gone. There are times when Starscream will cry, will remember everything that was once part of his life. There will be times when his tears will flow, but there will always be Soundwave to keep him intact. It was like a promise: to love each other like the sun loves the sky or the moon loves the stars. That was their love's promise: to be each other's wall and guard.


	3. Chapter 3

**The verse is from Pink - Family Portrait. Yes, I know that this chapter is stupid .-. but school is killing every idea I've got.**

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><p><em>Part III - You have two personalities. I already fell in love with both of them.<em>

_''In our family portrait, we look pretty happy ''_

When Starscream couldn't sleep, he would usually go for a little walk on Earth. He would walk or stare at the ocean or simply lie in his lover's arms. That night was one of the numberless nights when Starscream would wake up after a few hours without having a good recharge. Knowing that he would may wake his lover up, Starscream went for a little night walk. He lost the track of time and the night caught Starscream looking at the sky, behind some trees.

The Moon was shining brightly on the endless sky, dotted with white sparkling stars. In the air there was a soft brizzle coming from the ocean. The trees' leaves were moving softly under the gentle touch of the sky, making a little endless song. The planet was submerged in calmness and peace. One thing that Planet Earth had was the that every summer night was like that and that was one of the things that made it supportable. That and the energon that could be made of humans' resources.

Starscream vented softly before looking again at the sky. Somewhere, next to the Cassiopeia constellation, Cybetron's star was shining brightly as a promise of a shiny days and future. He felt homesick at the thought of being light-years away from his planet, his brother and his old life. Sometimes when life needs you to move, you need to forget or break the lines with the past, thought Starscream in a bitter way. Life isn't pink or pretty, neither red and full of love. No, it's like something that humans calls rainbow, something that is usually associated with hope and with many, many colours.

''You can't sleep?'' Ravage asked, coming from the bushes. He, like Starscream, had some sleep troubles. The seeker turned, looking at the dark-coloured feline machine, nodding almost imperceptibly before moving his sight to the stars again, on Cassiopeia constellation. ''What are you doing?'' Ravage spoke again, before going right to Starscream. The seeker looked, from the corner of his optics, at the feline before pointing to the sky, to Cassiopeia. That was the name gave by humans. Cassiopeia.

''Do you see the W?'' He asked in a soft way. ''That, in Seeker's culture, was considerated the most sacred thing that Seekers ever saw, had and known. In our culture, the W is put on our crowns and on our fuselages as a reminder to always be in balance with us, with our people and with ourselves. The W symbolizes five things: peace, balance, wisdom, love and hope. Next to that W is Cybetron and his star, on the right of the star that represents hope.''

''How do you see that?'' Ravage asked before allowing himself to curl in Starscream's lap. Every time he looked at the sky, he simply saw just stars without any shape. Just big circles of helium and hydrogen.

''I was a Winglord. It was my job to know every constellation. I was the lord of the sky, the one who could make stars envious. I needed to know that. I have known every constellation on Cybetron's sky since I was just a sparkling. My favorite was a constellation with fifteen stars. There was a legend based on that. Primus created the seekers, the first fifteen of our people. They were the image of grace, speed, love, hope, wisdom, water, earth, air, lighting and other elements. When Primus wanted to make the rest of Cybetron, they sacrificed themselves to build our planet. For that, Primus made the stars and he put them in a constellation. The name was long forgotten, but some of us called that constellation Pax. It means peace.''

''Do you know more legends? Sorry, I just saw Ravage going out and I wanted too.'' Ratbat explained and Starscream laughed, remembering the times when his brother would fly with him just because he saw Starscream doing that. Starscream's laugh was just a soft sound, like a whisper in the wind, blending with the night's songs. Rabat just showed a toothy smile before going to his brother, ready for a new story.

''Yes. I know human legends too. The humans have some legends that actually need you to know where that constellation is.'' He simply said, looking at the Orion constellation. He smiled again as a soft wind tickled his fuselage.

''Why?'' Ratbat asked, making a soft sound of protest. He wanted to know every legend that Starscream has known since he was just a sparkling. In those stories, because legends are just stories thatgive a chance to fly to children's imagination, which can be felt in everyone's heart, he simply felt like a sparkling, without worrying about anything else, about his life or about the war. That and because Starscream knew how to tell every kind of story; from the scary ones to the funniest stories ever heard in all galaxy or Universe.

''Because I can tell you that legend, but if you don't know how to look at the sky, then it's just a simple story. And now, we would not want that, would we? My carrier told me once upon a time that the difference between stories and legends are the way you are imagining them. If you look at the stars, hearing the story that is usually whispered by them, you could feel the legend.'' Starscream said as he looked at the sky again.

Ratbat yawned, looking at Starscream, ready for another story. As a new story began, he curled himself around his brother's warm frame. The seeker petted his wings in a calm manner, trying to make the youngling fall in recharge easier. Rabat simply mumbled a "thank you" before his optics closed and he fell in recharge with his brother. Both of them liked to hear Starscream's stories, but neither of them could resist until the end. Starscream's way of telling stories and legends was simply alluring the listener to sleep, making the one who listened to them simply forget about everything.

Once they were asleep, Starscream kissed them on their foreheads. On the seeker's face there was a proud smile, a warm one. Next to him, a warm frame let himself on the ground with care. Starscream looked at the frame from the corner of his right optic. He saw the blue and white frame of his lover. Starscream felt a pair of lips on his neck, kissing and biting. Once his neck was free, he allowed himself to laugh softly.

''That was for?'' He laughed and Soundwave smiled, showing a large smile. Starscream let his wings in some decent position before kissing Soundwave like some teenagers would do. It was night, the decepticons didn't know that location, nobody could spy on them, and he just wanted to be carefree.

''For telling them stories.'' Soundwave simply said, taking the sleeping casseticons in his arms. He had heard every single word that Starscream said. Even if he knew every legend, because Starscream had already told him about them, he would still be under a spell when his lover would speak about warriors, about lovers, about that.

''How much have you heard?'' Starscream just asked, looking embarrassed. His cheeks were warm and red and Soundwave loved the way how his lover looked. Starscream was the SIC, he was cruel and he needed to protect that image, but in Soundwave's arms, next to his lover's spark pulsing and singing, he could not find the strength to care.

''Everything. You know, this part made me fall in love with you. I miss this old part of you.'' Soundwave explained softly as the seeker just made himself more comfortable, before helping his lover with the casseticons. Starscream's optics were soon fixed on another star.

''Why?'' Starscream said, looking at the starsagain. Soundwave smirked.

''I don't know. These days you are just crying yourself to sleep, ready to kill every decepticon who looks at you in some strange way. And I simply miss taking with you and the rest of the caseticons about the legends, about our day and other things like that. it's kinda strange with so many personalities or masks, but for me it's more than fine. I've already fell in love with every one of them. Now, if you look at stars so much, I should give you something to remember them. Perhaps worshiping your body under the stars, making those lovable wings trembling in their indecent position and you living up to your designation. Now, that should be remembered very clearly, right love?''

Starscream just acted like he didn't understand Soundwave's last part.

The morning caught Starscream in Soundwave's arms on the ground. After an excursion to their base, Soundwave just returned and slept with Starscream's under the stars. The seeker was mumbling some old songs about love, peace, bravery in the seekers' cant. Soundwave understood just three words, but he still listened to his lover's voice. It was peaceful enough for him the sleep under that little frame, with a spark next to him.

The sun was up in the sky, looking ready to reign on Earth for the day that had to come, when Starscream's comm beeped and he mumbled something, before ignoring that call. It stopped and soon, another call beeped, making Starscream wake up. He murmureda few words about going to kill something and answered, ready to go next to his lover and later to kill the insolent fool who called him.

::Starscream, what a surprise! You actually do know how to answer your comm. Shockwave and I need to write that down. Maybe in our calendar. It will be a historic day. Now, spare me. Where are you?:: Megatron growled and Starscream asked himself for the nth time if Megatron knew how to speak like some normal being or he was truly from a cave.

::I am next to a forest. I will be there, Lord Megatron. Where do you want to meet?:: Starscream's voice was emotionless. That old bucket head just destroyed his morning. And his sleep.

::The main deck.:: Megatron growled. Nope, Megatron did not know how to speak like a normal being.

Stascream just mumbled something about going there and the call was ended. Next to him, Soundwave was awake and he was looking at his lover his dim optics. Soundwave's arms were on Starscream's waist, ready to make the seeker stay with him.

''Don't be like that. Megatron just growled at me to meet with him.'' Starscream just spitted, ready to kill that useless excuse of a gladiator and leader. Megatron wasn't a leader, he was just a dictator.

''Frag.'' Soundwave's voce was full of laziness. ''Shockwave!'' he said, raising up, giving Starscream a little scare. ''I forgat. Shockwave wanted to meet with me at eight A.M. in fleshies' hours. I don't have enough time. I need to go!'' Soundwave said before transforming and going to their base. And that going was more like running like Unicorn was on Soundwave's steps.

''And I thought that I was in a hurry.'' Starscream said before flexing his wings. He transformed and shot right into the sky, feeling the warm air on his body. He ignored the sensations. The way to base was short. Too short.

Starscream landed on the main deck, and Megatron came with Starscream's trine and some decepticons. The seeker narrowed his optics, ready to fight if it was necessary.

''Something happened?'' Starscream asked in some innocent way.

''Where did you go?'' Megatron growled.

''Me? I had been flying for about three hours before I landed somewhere near de base where I stayed. Why?'' Starscream asked.

''Were you alone?'' Skywarp asked and Starscream felt the urge to throw up. Everytime he would come from a flight, every decepticon would look at him like the Seeker just commited two crimes in the same time on different planets. They would ask if he was alone, and Starscream would mumble a 'frag yourself, it's not your job'.

''Yes.'' He lied. Starscream's first lies were uneasy and unbelievable, but with time he began to lie more easier and smoothly. Now, no body could not find if the seeker lied or told them the truth.

Thundercraker was looking brokenly at Starscream. In his optics a plea was rising, a plea for Starscream and the seeker almost felt bad for lying them, almost.

Starscream hated to lie to his trinemates. But when lovers are changing, relationships are fading, Starscream saw the solution to lie, to become a master in the art of deception. He would lie, fool all around him, putting a mask over his real personality just to keep the appearance and his little secret a secret. After all, when you live in a war, you need to lie to yourself and everyone around you.


End file.
